Maybe Marketing Isn't Really For Me

I hate sales. (Forgive me, but I feel I should be more accurate in explicating this opinion, dear reader, even at the risk of sounding vulgar)

I fucking hate sales.

A lot.

Yesterday afternoon, amidst a rather warm winter day, I stood in front of a K-Mart store in Fredericksburg, VA, a city I often pass during a common route I take involving Springfield and Richmond. This was my first time there. It shall, the good Lord willing, as they say, be my last.

I am a rather private, coy individual, especially in the company of strangers. I have held this social trait for as long as I can remember. I don’t foresee its amelioration anytime in the future. Furthermore, I’m fine with this. Really. I am.

So, imagine my anxiety when I realized that my introduction to a local direct marketing agency (the name of which I will not divulge) involved me approaching strangers, beckoning them to a table of virtually worthless products, then (in a act more fruitless than not) trying to close a sale. Truly, an asocial individual’s worst nightmare.

The marketing agency works with numerous companies, both profit and not. The idea of direct marketing is to increase the efficacy of advertising. A typical television commercial, I came to find out, convinces only one of one hundred people to buy the specific advertised product. Direct marketing, on the other hand, increases the ratio to ten of one hundred. From a business perspective, direct marketing is the more advantageous campaign.

The non-profit company we represented this particular day has noblest of intentions: reducing the number, and time spent away from family, of missing children. Who wouldn’t be motivated to aid such a respectable organization with such an admirable cause?

Of course, such sentiment is the primary attraction of would-be buyers. The best marketer, in this case, does their best to quickly locate and extrapolate such sentiment to persuade an individual to buy something. “This t-shirt is only $15, and the proceeds go to help missing kids!” I heard this uttered often throughout this abhorrent day. It’s a truthful statement, but one that I explored a bit more.

I asked the man whom the agency sent to oversee and appraise my sales techniques and potential. I asked this rather mellow and genuinely nice man just how much of the proceeds this non-profit agency receives from a sale?

The answer was 1%.

The sales person involved in the transaction received 30%. The remaining portion would be allocated between the production cost of the specific item and the marketing agency itself.

Although both the manager and associate I accompanied were quite accommodating and affable, their line of work seemed to be in contrast to my personal and ethical constitutions. When asked if I was going to take the position, I responded in the same manner I do when asked if I would like oral sex from a toothless, veteran prostitute.

Thanks, but no thanks.

The American Face of Change

One luxury of unemployment is the attention one can divert from actual work to that of television. I have tried my best to not refute my intellect by divulging my viewership toward the likes of Judge Judy and Maury Povich. Instead, I have focused on CNN and MSNBC coverage of the New Hampshire primaries, specifically the momentum that has propelled the Senator Barack Obama campaign into viable contention to win the Democratic nomination.

I consider myself fortunate to have seen Senator Obama speak publicly while he was in Richmond supporting the Jim Webb senatorial campaign. It is quite easy to notice the affable character, warm demeanor and moving oratorical abilities that the Senator possesses. It is precisely these characteristics that have helped trump the “inevitability” of the Senator Hilary Clinton nomination.

It is difficult for Clinton to regress, even slow, such momentum because of what Obama has become. His campaign has evolved into a movement of an idea, and ideas are slow dying. Obama recognizes this, altering the use of the pronoun I with that of we in recent public speeches.

Many Americans are weary and disenfranchised with current political ideology and implementation. Obama represents the desire to correct such political aversion. He has effectively appealed to Democrats as well as Independents (and some Republicans as well). As long as he does not commit any unforeseeable grievances in the eyes of prospective caucus goers, it appears that Obama stands to win the Democratic nomination.

Change does seem to be palpable.